Izaya vs Ice Cream vs Mikado
by ILAUGHATYOUALL
Summary: Izaya Orihara: One bad-ass information broker. Need I say more? Ice Cream: Coming in various flavors, is able to outwit just about anything. Mikado Ryugamine: Some shy kid who I think has a double personality after reading vol 8... He also leads a 'gang'. What do you get when you mix them all together? This fanfic. T for Shizuo's damn mouth.


Heya, folks. I'm not sure how this'll turn out, but it's really random. Plotless rambling, really.

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Izaya vs. Ice Cream vs. Mikado: My first one-shot.

Izaya Orihara: One bad-ass information broker. Need I say more?

Ice Cream: Coming in various flavors, is able to outwit just about anything.

Mikado Ryugamine: Some shy kid who I think has a double personality after reading vol 8... He also leads a 'gang'.

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Why the hell I'm writing something so stupid, I don't know. This one-shot was supposed to have the theme of terrible ice cream flavors, and the character Izaya Orihara and Mikado Ryugamine  
from DuRaRaRa. It won the competition, but I don't think I've ever written anything this dumb.

Anyhow, please enjoy. I'll be coming out with the other one I wrote next week, hopefully. Expect updates on FTFB and NP and possible The thing about the DN...

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"Why not? I bet you'll enjoy it!"

"I just... Don't really like that kind of stuff."

"How would you know until you tried it?"

"Well, I guess I wouldn't..."

"Yes. See there? I really do understand humans like you. Now let's go, before it closes."

Mikado shrugged, then sighed and trudged behind the tall, dark haired man. He looked around at the crowd around him. He was watching them pass by, glancing at the colors of their faces and clothing blur and speed past him, like he was almost paused and the world around him kept moving. Somewhere, off in the distance, he swore he heard Celty's motorbike. He dazed around, captivated.

"You like Sushi? You like Russian Sushi! Come eat Russian Sushi!"

Mikado bumped into a gigantic dark-skinned Russian man, who was unsuccessfully trying to advertise. Simon.

Before Mikado could move his butt off the ground and apologize, someone grabbed his arm, pulling him back into the abyss of swirling colors, smells, and faces.

"No. No time for sushi, Mikado, we have a bet."

Izaya tugged relentlessly on Mikado's sleeve, pulling him until they reached a part of Ikebukuro that Mikado had never been too. He stopped pulling him after they had gone some way, and they both stared at the shop before them.

IKEBUKURO ICE CREAM

The sign above the door glowed in neon rainbow colors, and Izaya dropped Mikado's sleeve and began rubbing his hands together.

"This is going to be fun. This is going to be fun. This is going to be so much FUN!" he muttered under his breath.

Mikado eyed him warily. Maybe this was more than a trip to the Ice Cream shop.

They entered.

"What flavor do you want?" asked the lady behind the counter.

Izaya smirked. "We want 'The Whole Set'.

The lady returned the gesture. "May you boys rest in peace."

The younger of the two shivered. How did he get himself stuck here?

The lady shooed them off to a table, before running back into the kitchen, which, as most people observe, most ice cream shops don't have.

Izaya looked across at Mikado, and his grin widened. Mikado glanced at him, still uneasy, and checked his watch. 10:34. He should probably head home do he could be rested for the test tomorrow...

"Here you go!"

Something was placed in front of him. It was huge, decorated, and... How should he say this... Diversified...

It was a huge circular blue plat, with about 40+ different scoops piled on it. The colors on it ranged from neon and bright colors to black, and creamy colors.

Mikado halted his examination of the masterpiece to give a questioning look to Izaya, who looked mesmerized.

"Go ahead and eat, darling. Remember, though, you have to eat every last drop of it, now." the lady smiled mischievously, and, apparently, it was contagious, because Izaya had a smirk almost identical to it. Mikado glanced at the door, possibly calculating how long it would take him to get the heck out of there.

"Eat up." said Izaya.

Mikado jumped, then he looked at the gigantic pile of ice cream, and gulped, visibly shrinking back.

He picked up the spoon.

IZAYA

Izaya smirked as Mikado picked up the spoon shakily, and scooped up a red colored ice cream ball. He followed the suit, lightly holding a pale creamy colored one on his spoon. He locked eyes with Mikado, and nodded.

They stuffed the ice cream in their mouths.

Immediately, Mikado's eyes bugged out, his face turned red, and he swallowed the contents of his mouth.

"W-water!" he cried, his eyes tearing up.

"Sorry, son, we don't have any of that here. You'll just have to try another scoop and see what happens."

He looked up at her woefully, but he scooped a white colored one in his mouth, and toppled over.

Izaya would've laughed out loud, but he was pre-occupied with his own rather embarrassing predicament. The ice cream ball he had just placed in his mouth, tasted like egg whites. He was struggling to keep a smirking expression, but the lady knew better then that.

"Eat more, sir, it'll melt."

Izaya looked up at her, his face betraying him as it displayed a hint of rage. He stuffed another ice cream ball into his mouth, but he almost spit it out. It tasted like MUSTARD.

Mikado also made a grotesque face, as he swallowed his ice cream. Soap wasn't the best flavor ever...

This continued for a while, both of the males scooping terrible flavors of ice cream into their mouths, while the lady stood there and grinned, watching them.

Here's a list of all the flavors they ate.

Relish, mutton, ketchup, deodorant, lead, pansy, chile, habanero, and many, many, many other flavors. In short, Mikado and Izaya wouldn't be able to taste anything for a very long time...

"IZAAAYAAAAA!"

Izaya's head shot up from where he had lain it on the table, panting, his head as red as his eyes. (He had unfortunately been the one to receive the habanero-flavored ice cream scoop.)

"H-hello, Shizuo, what a pleasant surprise." he continued panting.

Shizuo growled, but looked at him quizzically. "What the hell did you eat?"

"Hi, Mr. Heiwajima." muttered Mikado, hiding his face.

"I was just enjoying some ice cream with Mikado here."

Shizuo's eyebrow twitched. The cigarette he had been holding snapped.

_Time to go, _thought Izaya_._

"Hey, boys!" shouted the ice cream lady_, _"If you fight in my store you won't live to see another day. Got it?"

"Grr... FINE."

"Sure, I'll be out of this area soon enough. You should leave here, you poor human. I pity you. I think I might actually hate you as much as I hate Shizuo. You can leave my sight now."

Mikado slinked towards the door, looking back at the steaming Shizuo, and the calm, smirking Izaya. Shizuo seemed to be holding himself back until they left the shop, as his fist was shaking, and his teeth were clenched.

Mikado left and went home, exhausted.

Izaya stepped out of the shop, holding the door open for Shizuo, who knocked it off it's hinges.

"IZAYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" He yelled.

But Izaya Orihara was gone. Later on that night, witnesses said they swore they saw him gulping water like a dog out of a drinking fountain near a park.

The ice cream lady smiled when she heard. She removed her make-up, mask, wig, and other accessories, and returned to her desk in Shinjiku.

She heard the front door slam, and she kept her eyes on her computer.

"Namie." a voice asked.

"Yes, Mr. Orihara?"

"What does one get when he mixes habaneros and ice cream?"

"I suppose he'd get a headache and a burnt tongue."

"I really dislike you now. I think I'm becoming more like an ordinary human,"

"Thank you, I hate you too."

"I'm not going to fire you."

She gasped. "Why?!"

"Because that's what you want."

She sighed.

_So much for _that_ plan..._

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_THANKS FOR READING!_

_This was my first one-shot, so please review. CONSTRUCTIVE CRITISISM WELCOME, DAMMIT!_


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